A change is as good as a holiday ...

Silly me ... made mention of wanting to change my tagboard. Next thing I know, my super creative blogger afficcionado son has me changing templates, colours, and every other thing that can possibly be modified ... hehehe :)

Thanks Shane!~!!

Anyway, the new tagboard doesn't take half an hour (small exageration) to load - without text at the end of it all. Frustrating to say the least. Call me a copycat, but Thomas and Shane both changed theirs, and it loads super fast.

Next thing was to find a photo of me that doesn't make me look like a middle aged, married, self employed, well fed man ... IYKWIM (if you know what I mean). Nah, anyway it's probably one of the better photo's of me. I wanted one that was taken 15 years ago, but was out-voted. Seem to remember being out-voted by the same two people when we bought KAREN'S car - I wanted yellow - we got dark blue (a secret ploy no doubt to make it less obvious how dirty it is).

On a more serious note - was wondering how many people out there suffer from OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). For anyone who has experienced it, or knows or lives with someone who suffers from it, it can be a very misunderstood condition.

Being a Jennifer Garner fan, we hired Elektra last weekend. I also enjoy a serious action movie. It was interesting to note that the character of Elektra (played by Jennifer no less) suffered from OCD. It shocked me to find that there was an aspect of OCD that she experienced exactly like I did when I was younger (before God healed me of it).

I never knew what was wrong with me until after God had healed me from it. I didn't know or understand why I acted the way I did. I kept it secret because I was afraid to let anyone find out about me - in fact the only person I ever shared it with in my whole life (until just recently when I started to talk to my wife Karen about it) was a young friend called Gary whom I led to the Lord when I was in high school (I was about 14 at the time).

I believe the Lord gave me a revelation about OCD just recently when He showed me that OCD and fear are closely linked. I know for me that fear, loneliness, rejection by peers and an abject lack of self esteem all played a central part in my living with OCD for over thirty years. And this was all compounded by a speech difficulty - I stuttered and stammered until well into my twenties. This was largely overcome by the selfless love and support given to me by my precious wife Karen.

Dealing with OCD was different - only God can set you free from that which controls you without you ever really understanding what it is, and how it controls you. I've never told anyone in my family, and my children and wife were left wondering one day recently why I reacted so strongly to someone making fun of a friend who is OCD. It was actually at that point when my spirit identified with this young OCD sufferer, that God dropped into my spirit that this was what I had suffered from for most of my life - I just never knew what it was. Finally it had a name. I was able to mask it by controlling it - instead of letting it control me. I know I have shared in a previous post how singing helped me to overcome my speech problems. Worship really is the key to experiencing healing.

Anyway, praise God that OCD is all in the past. I would welcome anyone reading this blog to leave comments about OCD here if they have something to say that may add to the discussion. Maybe someone can be helped out of it all.

Funny how life is all about putting the past behind us so that we can move into the destiny that God has for us.

By His grace ...
Steve